Margaret

MARGARET'S ANNUAL HOLIDAY LETTER 07-08: CHRISTMAS ON THE DARK SIDE

Well, here it is the day after Thanksgiving and I am nauseated, but I can't tell if it is from all the syrupy sweet Christmas movies on "Lifetime" and "ABC Family" networks, or from the entire can of Reddi Wip that I ate yesterday. I am already so sick of the TV ads, radio carols and saccharin-ey TV movies that I am about to poke my eyes out with hot needles dipped in hydrochloric acid! What's that you say?? Don't watch TV and turn off the radio?? That would mean I would have to actually get a life and face the vast wasteland that is my psyche…     
I seem to be way behind in all the Christmas preparations this year, I used to excitedly have my cards ready to go on Thanksgiving weekend, now I am contemplating should I cut back on my list to save stamp money??? Yes, my funds are a little low this year. Sometime in the summer my checking account suddenly hit rock bottom and I did not realize it until I started getting overdraft notices from National City Bank. (They should be glad, they robbed me of $34 each time without me even knowing it…I am their best customer!!) That was when I decided to put my house on the market, but first, to get extra cash, I decided to try to sell some of those items I always thought must be worth a lot of money but I now know are not worth Jack Shit!! I am talking about items like the coins my Dad brought back from China in WWII, my flute, a silver serving dish from Grandma Preston and the old Edison Phonograph that my grandparents had. It is amazing how little people want to give you for what you think are valuable antiques!! A man offered me $3 total for some currency from WWII Asia, I found out my flute is worth about $25.00 and an exact replica of the phonograph sat on eBay for days with no bids for 495.00. A woman at a coin shop turned up her nose at Grandma's old serving dish, and handed it back to me like it was a dog turd! (I did not know it was "silverplate") I have never been so humiliated !!! It is just as well, these things only mean something to me and my family. Of course, I had to pick the worst economic slump in recent history to think about selling my house. House prices in Detroit are dropping quicker than Hugh Hefner's silk pajamas on a good day!!
What I am trying to build up to here is the fact that I may be doing what I always thought I would never stoop to doing at Christmas …… I am talking about ……Choke……gag…..REGIFTING!
Therefore, if you get something from me this year that looks a little bit familiar…..or maybe not spanking brand new….please try and understand….I will try to give away things to people who do not have contact with the person who originally gave me the item., or things that I bought myself. AND I promise they will be nice items, things that I actually like myself but no longer want to keep as I am planning to move and the thought of having to move as much shit as I moved last time makes me physically ill !!! (If there is anything special you want let me know) And no, the fact that I am giving away my stuff does not mean that I am suicidal, although I heard a new remake of "Santa Baby" today that made me want to vomit!! That is one thing I wish for Christmas, that they would not remake that song any more, as well as no more modern formulaic versions of Scrooge, please! Let Dickens rest in peace!! Oh yes I also wish for health happiness and prosperity for my friends, family and myself (and world peace)HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
LOVE MARGARET